More Thoughts About Elimination Communication: Clark’s Cues and EC is HARD

EC is Hard, Man. Or is just taking care of a whiny baby hard in general?

So we’re at what day? Day 5 of our EC practice. Boy, people, EC is hard, ok. I was over optimistic in my last post about it. But taking care of a baby is just hard all around, and sometimes much harder than other times. The past few days have been really hard in general. Clark has just been whining a lot. I feed him, potty him, change him, burp him, try to feed him to sleep, go through the list again and he just. keeps. whining. like a whiny puppy. Gah. It makes me so crazy! He won’t stop and it stresses me out and gives me such a headache. If it weren’t for the headache it would be easier to deal with. Imagine having a high pitched whine around you all day! Poor guy. So yeah. EC has been rather stressful, but it has also relieved many of the cries during the past few days and it has been a cool communication experience.

Diaper Free Observation Time: Clark’s Cues

My last post was about diaper free time and I told you I was still looking for Clark’s cues. Here is what I have found so far: It seems like he does always fuss before peeing, but sometimes he fusses quieter than other times. Sometimes he says “amamamama” when he needs to pee, but he also says that right after he pees because he wants something else. So basically he cries for help for peeing, but he cries all the time about everything, including being bored, so it’s hard to tell what actually means “pee!” If he looks at me for a long time while whining or pats me or pulls on me, it definitely means he either has to pee or eat. Usually peeing is more urgent-sounding, I think.

On the one hand I’m grateful to have another tool to relieve my babies distress. On the other hand, it’s still a mystery what he wants from any given cry he cries, which is super frustrating.

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(Clark was very happy to get out of the house at Costco yesterday )

Encouraging Thoughts

I am seeking support and reading more EC material. I am going to figure this thing out. That’s one of the big reasons I decided to do EC after all, because I realized from reading Andrea Olsen’s book that there are people and resources out there to support me and that with 99.5% of EC problems, you just need support and knowledge (I totally made up that statistic).

I went back to her book today, knowing that she’d offer calming reassurance and space. When I first heard about her and watched some of her YouTube videos I thought, “This lady is crazy and some of kind of mutant super-mom! I’m sure she would find my diapering practices unacceptable.” and “She thinks she’s so much better than everyone else!” (LOL) But she’s actually super nice and chill about EC, that’s a big part of how she’s had so much success with it, because she’s chill about it.

Here are some great, reassuring quotes about EC from her book Go Diaper Free

“Think of this type of commitment as smooth, cyclical, fluid gentle and flexible…not goal-oriented, inflexible, tenacious or ambitious.”

(Isn’t that the struggle of everything every day in this Western world?)

“If you hyper-focus on the EC, you will likely become disconnected from one another. If you focus on constantly renewing and refreshing your connection with each other, the pottying will naturally fall into place.”

Phew. Don’t sweat it, mama.

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