Diary 6.28.2019

This week has been a lot of fun.

Friday to Saturday we went camping and I felt so gross the entire second day. I used to think I loved camping but I don’t know how I feel about that anymore. I think I’d have to a commit to like a longer trip and it would have to include fun things like canoeing, rock climbing, repelling, you get the idea. I don’t like sitting around in camp chairs and being totally filthy. Haha.

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I came to a crisis last week with Clark care where, I wasn’t going to, but I felt like hurting him and I wanted to run away. Some background was that he had been wining all day for weeks no matter what I did. Because of that, I want to reevaluate the way Colton and I share responsibilities. I’m planning on doing that today. My goal is to delegate more of the “mental load” ofcaring for Clark and managing the house to him. I would like to delegate this in such a way that I won’t have to worry about his portion at all.

I experimented with my curly hair a lot this week and I think I have found a routine that actually works!!!! This after years of trying to figure out what to do with my curly hair. I’ve been unsatisfied with my natural hair since I was like 13. So hopefully I’ll make a blog post about that soon.

00100dportrait_00100_burst20190628210750500_coverAlong the lines of time management, I realized that what I really need is just a time every week long enough to make a youtube video where Colton watches Clark. I would love that.

I got an oteroo in the mail so we’ll try that out soon.

Oh, I was going to say part of my recovery from my Clark crisis was reevaluating my relationship with him. In my desperation, anger and fear (lol) I had posted in my local natural parenting facebook group. The first commenter said, “9 month olds are often insecure” and I realized that he totally is insecure. As a newborn and even 6 and 7 month old he never really cared about being held or getting personal attention. If I tried snuggling with him or looking him in the eyes and having a conversation, he always wanted to get down and play. He was never a velcro baby. If he was teething he liked moving, either walking or in the car, but that was different. So anyways, here I have this child who just wants attention, interaction and snuggles, and I just move him from toy to toy because that’s what he used to like.

 

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