Sunday morning is here again. I did stay up until midnight and sleep in until 8 so I barely have time to write.

But I did clean the house yesterday. And it felt like it took an hour for us to just clean the living room and kitchen, which “weren’t that messy”

And I did get one project done yesterday: making sensory bins.

It is December 1st. I’m trying to not be a grump about Christmas.

This is my thought process around Christmas time:

Oh wow it’s Christmas time again. Aww man, I loved Christmas as a kid, but now it feels like a disappointment. I was SO obsessed with Christmas as a teen, and then I realized that it didn’t live up to those expectations, and ever since then I’ve been at best uncomfortable with Christmas. At worst I’ve been angry that it has betrayed me and I always want to skip Christmas. Then I think, “Well what you’ve really got to do to get the Spirit of Christmas is serve others. Do something from Light the World.” So then I keep trying to think of ways I can do ‘enough’ and I manage to eek out one or a few things, mostly or only donating money online. And think, “See, there’s some holiday spirit, I don’t really feel it still but that was a good thing to do.”

And then on Christmas morning I try to ignore the materialism and especially not get grumpy inside about what I did or didn’t receive, which I always do. But I DO really enjoy watching people open gifts I gave them. I think the coolest Christmas morning was when we made homemade gifts for all the siblings. However, the week leading up to that was stress ball crazy, But it was fun too. I made a sloth for Merritt that ended up looking like an Adventure Time character and that was really rewarding.

Yeah so I think this year I am going to make a plan to make a plan today about holiday activities and service so that I can actually do some stuff.

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